Today I want to write about something all mothers grapple with at one time or another, some on a constant basis: guilt.
Every day we are faced with hundreds of tasks, questions, problems, and messes. And we are only one person. How are we to make breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Get everyone clothed and cleaned up enough they don’t look neglected? Keep them busy, out of trouble? Answer the thousands of questions the five year old asks without exploding? Make sure we get everywhere on time? Inevitably things get forgotten. Sometimes we aren’t the most kind or patient. And then we feel bad. This isn’t even taking into consideration the other demands on our time: friends, work and other responsibilities.
How do we deal with this feeling of coming up short? How do we tell ourselves that clearly we are not? Every day I have to remind myself that those little things don’t matter. It’s ok that we forgot to go to swim class because we were doing something else. It’s ok that Jane’s hair was crazy all day or she just wore a t shirt and diaper as long as she felt loved and happy. Our life isn’t meant to be constantly beautiful and perfect like the internet tricks us into thinking. Sometimes we’ll make mistakes, we’ll snap at a question asked ten too many times, we’ll get to a play date and not have any diapers or shoes(clearly forgetfulness is my curse). But if we’re trying our best to be our best that’s what matters. That’s what is important for our kids to see. They need to see our mistakes and even better to see that we can apologize and try again.
Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. It’s ok. You’re doing your best. Get that guilt out of here!
I hope you all had a great weekend! We kicked our weekend off with a picnic dinner at Sandy Neck beach. It’s sort of ironic that it’s called Sandy Neck because it’s one of the rockiest beaches I’ve ever been to. It’s one of the only beaches on the cape you can build a fire at so it does have that going for it. They have a pretty decent snack shack where you can get fried seafood.
The kids spent most of the time throwing rocks into the water. One of them spent a lot of time hiding under the lifeguard chair doing her business…
You can never throw enough rocks. Amiright?
On Saturday we went to the park with friends and ran some errands and capped the day off by making dinner and eating outside and letting the kids stay up late and making s’mores in the yard. I turned on our cafe lights on the patio and the kids thought it looked like a party. (I am still the boring/mean parent though)
Most weekends this summer I’ve been on my own with the kids while Chad is shooting weddings. A lot of the days have felt really long but in looking back at the summer this weekend it feels like it’s gone by all too fast.
Now onto another (crazy hot!) week!
Oh hey, what’s that? I haven’t posted in nearly 6 months? Oh. That’s because I was trying to figure out what I want this little place to be. It wasn’t feeling authentic and it didn’t inspire me. I want it to be a place that makes me happy and feels like me. So I followed some great advice I received at Alt Summit and took a step back. The last few months have been really busy with weddings, my sister’s wedding, and summer vacation shenanigans. I’ve been spending the summer focusing on doing more things with our family and friends, and enjoying the place where we live. My little insane family and our home here on Cape Cod, and the things we do are what make me happy.
I’ve made it my goal this year to go after enriching experiences vs. spending money on things. Here’s a great article on that if you’re interested.
From now on this is going to be more of a journal and less of a DIY project and internet finds spot. I’ll still post recipes from time to time because cooking makes me happy and so does teaching. I love sharing things I’ve learned with others (even if that isn’t very much).
So here’s to a year of more enriching fulfilling life experiences!
(Jane eating a mcflurry at the beach. Does it get better?)
I took the last few months off from working on anything on here because I wanted to really think about the content I want to be publishing going forward. It was also the busiest part of wedding season/the holidays. I’ve had some time to sit down and set some goals and brainstorm ideas and I’m excited to jump back into posting again. The blog is going to take a little bit of a different (and hopefully better) direction this year. Hopefully it’s something you all like!
And now a little catch up on us, and we’ll move on to newer things:
Our BFFs Monica, Heidi, and Harry came down and visited us for a couple days.
Jane has really taken to being a home depot helper, she was especially fond of helping choose mums for the porch this fall. One of our two weekends in Martha’s Vineyard. The Harbor View hotel in Edgartown is top notch, for anyone planning a trip. Lots of dinners outside on the patio. Our college friend Linsday from London Photo came and did our family pictures. Christopher played soccer but decided it wasn’t for him. “I want to go home, I’m tired of running.” I braved a climb to the top of our 15 foot ladder and put up a swing for the kids. Jane has only fallen out once thanks to an overzealous push from Christopher. Still feeling like ballers living by the ocean. Jane is coloring on everything. If you plan on coming by give me a few minutes warning so I can get the magic eraser out. My mom and dad sent me my grandma’s piano for my birthday. I love having it here. The kids love it too. The piano may feel differently… Jane and her friend Natalie went to the zoo in Providence. It’s definitely the best zoo in the area. If you’re in Boston head down there for a zoo, skip Franklin Park and DEFINITELY skip the Stone Zoo. We are working on our bedroom right now. We got a new bed, and lights and built some floating night stands. That plant has already been killed by Jane the plant dumper Another trip to Martha’s Vineyard. These are from Lucy Vincent Beach in Chillmark. It has some awesome cliffs and large rocks. Momma and Poppa Hansen came! We filled them with fish and chips. Chad’s brothen Kellen came for a visit for one day too, Apple picking with Grandma Jil. Fall festival with Grandma and Grandpa B. Halloween.Bedazzling A surprise birthday stay at the Verb hotel and a bruins game for Chad’s birthday. Jane turned 2! We introduce the Snoop dog into our family. After re-homing Buckley 6 months ago we really missed our doggie friend. Thanksgiving snow! A family trip to NYC (museum of natural history, central park, FAO schwartz) Santa! Chad and I had a wedding published in the GORGEOUS new publication, Geraldine. It’s available online and at select Anthropoligie stores. Our first Christmas in our house. On to the new year!